My thoughts, My life, My Space

New house new improvements

2012-01-30T19:16:00.000-08:00

These are before and after pictures....details below. :)

It has been a while since I made a post and I think I want to start blogging on here again. Since my last post, I have moved twice and have finally landed at our "perminant" duty station and have bought a home. I am now able to experience the true army life, good and bad. No complaining here , Life will always be challenging whether my husband is in the army or not. I actually love the life I live.
I am thinking of revamping this blog to focus on the ins and outs (ups and downs) of army life and other life things that may strike my fancy. I am also planning on posting pictures as we make home improvements on our new house. It may teach others how to do these things (especially women like me who sometimes need to take things into our hands due to our husband's busy schedudele)as I do them and share my learning experience with you. It might even prevent you from making any mistakes I make along the way.

Well without further ado, here are some home improvement pictures. In this post I will only post about my blinds adventure and I will post a seperate adventure in my next post. Lets just say I am not perfect and I am doing all these things for the first time, so I am actually proud of what little I have accomplished. lol

My Blind's adventure. :)

First aspect of my blind adventure was measuring the windows I wanted to cover, going to the store and picking them up and then accidently switching them around. lol I am not changing it now, but it is kind of funny. They look fine, though, right?

Before and after picures (above) - only window one, window two not pictured.

The reason I call this an adventure is because I didn't exacally know what I was getting into lol. Yes, to install blinds, its just a few screws you screw in the wall through hardware which connects the blinds to the wall excetera. , but when the prior owners left many holes where they had their blinds that I had to work around and then my first few attempts the hardware fell out of the wall (yes each time) till I realized that I maybe using the wrong type of screw. Well, anyway after I mastered the art of screwing nails into the wall and learning to pre-screw (I don't have a drill) so that the hardware attaches easier and using the right size screw (after like 2 hours ) window # 1 was done. (and yes it took just about that long and was very frustrating) Window two went up in a breeze. I guess I am a good learner lol. HANDY WOMAN TO THE RESCUE!!

Advice I would give to anyone putting up blinds for the first time (and having no home improvement experience whatsoever, like me) always,always measure and mark first. Pre-drill or pre- screw (literally screwing the screw in the premarked whole in the wall about half way and then take the screw out and place the brackets on the wall and then screw the hardware to the wall all the way. Oh, and check the strenth of the screws when you pre-screw by pulling lightly down on them to make sure your nails are holding tight and then redo the same test when you get the brackets into the walls. Oh, and if my intuision is right , if you are attaching the blinds to dry wall, use the skinner scews in the blinds kit. The fatter ones are probably for in window mouting or mouting on wood, because they would pull right out of the drywall, each and everytime for me until I switched to the skinner screws....frustration, yes. Once you get the blinds up make sure you slide the front piece into the brackets after you have the blinds sitting in them. If you don't the blinds will just fall out of the brackets once you try to close them ...no I did not make this mistake but I thought I would point it out just in case anyone needs to know. :) Well its off to bed for this girl. I hope you have a blessed night and thanks for reading.

My next adventures are ....painting my dining room walls by myself and possibly a dishwasher installation. Oh good gracious!!! Stay tuned!! :)
Goodnight,

One Word Answers

2010-03-12T19:45:00.000-08:00

Not as easy as you might think! Copy and Paste into your own blog, change the answers to suit you. It's really hard to only use one word answers.

Where is your cell phone?
couch

Spouse?
amazing

Your hair?
messy

Your mother?
Melanie

Your father?
Michael

Your favorite thing?
computer

Your dream last night?
forgot

Favorite drink?
water

What room are you in?
livingroom

Your hobby?
Lazy

Your fear?
death

Where do you want to be in 6 years?
happy

Where were you last night?
home

Something that you aren't?
energetic

Muffins?
Homemade

Wish list item?
declutter

Last thing you did?
typed

What are you wearing?
soffes

Your pets?
Rocky

Friends?
silly

Your life?
changing

Your mood?
lazy

Missing someone?
hubby

Drinking?
Water

Your car?
Spectra

Something you're not wearing?
shoes

Your favorite store?
Old Navy

Your favorite color?
baby blue

When is the last time you cried?
forgot

Where do you go over and over?
Gym

Five people who email me regularly?
sparkpeople

Favorite place to eat?
macoroni grill

Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
Tennessee

Buffalo Chicken Tenders

2009-12-17T12:11:00.001-08:00

Buffalo Chicken Tenders

Posted using ShareThis

My own website!

2009-12-02T11:46:00.001-08:00

I sent this out to people who have ordered from me before, if there is anyone I missed or anyone interested in ordering from Beauticontrol, this is the email and my website. Please take a momet and shop around, there are some great christmas gifts you can order.
Thank you :)

I am emailing ya'll my beautipage just in case there is anything you need to reorder. The orders go directly to beauticontrol, which means your order will get to you quicker. I believe you can process cards on this site, so it is also more of a convience. Please take the time to look around and if you have any questions reguarding how to order products let me know. The website is http://www.beautipage.com/melissaarmato. Please take advantage of the great sales going on right now :). Marry Christmas everyone!
Signed.
Melissa Armato
Your Beauticontrol Consultant

2009-11-17T08:33:00.000-08:00

If anyone is like me, I am now addicted to starbucks pumpkin spice latte. It is so yummy and gives me that taste of fall in my mouth. Since I can't afford a daily trip to starbucks I started looking around for a copycat recipe. This one is delicious and the only difference is I put the spices in the blender and then dust the top with the spices when I put it in the cup and I do not have the syrup on hand so I leave that part out and add splenda....so yummy! I found this recipe on coffesage.com

Pumpkin Spice Latte ( compare to Starbucks )
Note: if you are using the pumpkin spice syrup, you do not need the canned pumpkin
Ingredients:
1-2 shots espresso (1/4 C. espresso or 1/2 C. strong brewed coffee)
1 c. half and half
1 tb. canned pumpkin :: you may use either whole pumpkin or pie mix
1 tsp. Torani Pumpkin Spice Syrup
Optional pumpkin pie spice, nutmeg, or cinnamon.
Directions:
(no espresso machine?)

Pumpkin Spice Flavored Coffee from Honey Bean Coffee makes a great base, and it’s great all by itself.
To make a pumpkin latte in your home: In a small saucepan, stir pumpkin puree into half and half. Add the syrup. Heat on medium until steaming, stirring constantly. You do not want the milk to burn.
In a blender on high speed, use whip setting for 20 seconds until foaming. Pour the mixture into a tall glass and pour coffee over the top. Dust with ground pumpkin pie spice or nutmeg.

Pasted from

Spark People - July 30, 2009

2009-07-30T18:22:00.001-07:00

Well I am super proud of myself today!!
I almost convinced myself not to go to the gym and put day 1 of week two off until tomorrow, but I didn't. I took a catnap, spent some time with the hubby and felt some energy so I told him "I am going to the Gym!!" lol pretty much just like that ha ha. He was like good baby I am proud of you :) see why I love him!!! Well I knew this would be a push because I am definitely not used to running more then a minute. (I have always been a sprinter) But I did it. I had to push myself a bit harder on the last two running intervals, but I did it!!!! can't wait till Day 2 of this week. And since Friday, I have only missed Saturday and yesterday in the gym....that is a high accomplishment to this three time a weeker :) I am so happy I went to the gym, definitely beats that margarita I was craving earlier!!! 30

Once I get used to making the gym a very important meeting for myself that I have just about every day I will tackle the diet portion head on, but I have already opted for healthier options like brown rice instead of white, eating lean meats and beans for protein a good portion of the time and also drinking more water, which I have always worked on since I started spark people. I am on my way to a better, healthier,sexier, and happier me. Thank you so much for all your support especially from Cyndi and Dawn...lately you two ladies have been my saving grace along with my hubby of course :)

Spark People - July 28, 2009

2009-07-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

Well I finished my prescribed first week of c to 5K program and I feel so good about myself! I have kept up with training. Day 2 was the hardest physically on me because I was going in between 3.5 and 4.5 but since 4.5 on the treadmill is a little bit of an uncomfortable jogging (to slow) speed, I upped it to 5.0. But for some reason I just wasn't staying loose enough and my calves and shins felt uncomfortable and I feared a shin splints and went in between 3.0 - 5.0. but I felt that 3.0 wasn't brisk enough for a brisk walk so I stayed between 3.5 - 5.0 on day three (which was today).

Today (day 3) I was at the gym at 7:15 which in its self is an accomplishment. I am glad I did go that early today because I definitely wasn't feeling the gym when I got off of work but I still may do upper body here at home. I do not normally do 2 workouts in a day, but I only had a little bit of time in the morning to go to the gym, so I did my half an hour run this morning and I am thinking about doing my upper body today because I want to do legs on my rest day. I will see how I do on that but my next goal today is to work on buying some healthy groceries for very little money, grocery game. com and couponmom.com here I come! Wish me luck. :)

This past week (week starting on Friday lol) I have pushed myself harder in my cardio then I ever have. I have also made it to the gym to do something just about everyday since starting the C to 5k program. I feel so invigorated but I can feel the slight struggle that I have had in keeping up with my program because my body isn't used to more then 3 gym days a week in well, as long as I can remember, so I feel a slight toll, but I am going to push through it because its making me stronger and I am sick of feeling like I look disgusting because I have gained almost 15 pounds in the past year. Even though I am heading into my senior year in college it was the first year I was independent from my parents having to run a household with my hubby and having smaller then I am used to pay checks coming in...so I have fallen for the freshman 15....eeaakkk. But I am working to get back on track and my hubby is supporting me all the way.

212

I never knew how much I needed someone to help motivate me to work at a goal of mine, but I have always fallen through. Now I have my husband who I have included in my goal setting to an extent. I don't know why I was always kind of shy with including people in my goals, probably because I was afraid I would fail and that other person would be disappointed in me which is always the downside to my thought process. But having him involved has helped me gain motivation and also give him motivation (well to get out of bed and join me at the gym lol). But he is a certified personal trainer and I do need his expertise in this so I turned realistic and I showed him the program print out to see if he thought it was viable and he did. I also talk to him about how I am doing and how I feel about the program thus far. I search for his "I am so proud of you" speech just about every time I accomplish going to the gym because it helps me feel that accomplishment because it is a big deal....four days in one week and more to come this week big deal. He also asked me this morning my goal weight and I told him. I want to be back down to 110/111 (if I follow the healthy BMI) and asked him if he thought this was realistic and he said yes, because I was just there just about a year ago so I am happy to hear that.

Well the last thing I wanted to discuss in this super long blog entry lol is the pictures that I had above and what they are. I don't know if anyone recalls this but one of the spark people recommendations for staying motivated was to make a motivational collage of some sort. Well I only posted two of the pictures I found, but I searched for beautiful, seemingly fit pear shaped women to kind of give me an image in my head for how I want to look. I didn't want to look at things unrealistically this time so I searched for my body type in particular. I will add the remaining ones to my spark people and maybe make a poster of some sort for me to see that everyday. I want to do this to look good and feel good in my own skin. I want to build up a solid foundation to a healthy lifestyle for the rest of my life. I want to avoid the diabetes that does run in my family as well as the high blood pressure. I want to do this for me, for my husband, for my current family as well as my future family. I want to be an example to my future kids that a healthy lifestyle is the way to go.

Thank you for taking your time to read this lengthy blog but I had a lot to write about :)/

Good day!!!!

Missy

Couch - 5K W1D1

2009-07-24T18:51:00.000-07:00

spark people :)

I did my first day on the couch to 5k program. I can't believe I was able to keep up with it. I downloaded the Podcast that was recommended on the team page and it helped keep me focus. I felt so energized and so good about myself. I have always been afraid of running because of my asthma, but I talked to my father in law and he said it actually helped his daughters asthma when she started to run. Even though my asthma is not severe at all I am always afraid of triggering it. But I did it and the program seems like it supports building up to full running to help your body adjust so I am comfortable doing it. I made it day 1 and in two days it will be day two, I will just be so proud if I keep it up and meet my goal to be able to run - maybe even a 5 k - :) I just want to learn how to run and build up my lung capacity and keep my heart healthy and loose this 10-15 pounds. I am excited....I am on my way to be a runner....I want to be addicted to it :)

Make today memorable - found this on a sparkpeople.com member's blog :)

2009-07-24T04:18:00.001-07:00

Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is just a figment of the imagination. So if you think about it, today is the only day you’re alive. Today is the day that matters the most.

Here’s how to make it memorable:

* Try something totally new. – Variety truly is the spice of life. You can see or do something a million times, but you can only see or do it for the first time once. As a result, first time experiences usually leave a reflective mark in our minds for the rest of our lives. So spice it up!

* Entertain yourself with real-world experiences. – Great memories are the product of interesting life experiences. So turn off the television (or the computer) and get outdoors. Interact with the world, appreciate nature, take notice of the simple pleasures life has to offer, and just watch as life unfolds in front of you.

* Work on something that’s meaningful to you. – Engage yourself in a meaningful personal project. Or pull the trigger on doing something you’ve wanted to do for a long time, but haven’t yet had the resolve to do. Life is short. Today is the day to take action.

* Challenge your mind and body. – Learn a new skill. Be creative. Build something from the ground up, no matter how small. Run farther than you’ve ever run before. Push yourself to the limits!

* Concentrate on less, but give it your best. – Slow down. Pay close attention to what you’re doing. Don’t waste time juggling forgettable tasks. Instead, concentrate on a few things that really matter. Engage fully in this day.

* Say “yes” to a spontaneous opportunity. – Everything in life can’t be planned. Some of the greatest opportunities will knock on your door when you least expect them to. Be flexible, be spontaneous, and just say “yes.”

* Complete an important piece of unfinished business. – Today is a perfect day to finish what you started. Few feelings are more satisfying than the one you get after an old burden has been lifted off of your shoulders.

* Document your day. – Take lots of pictures. Keep a journal. Document your day so you can review it some other day. Many moons from now, these old photos and journal entries will ignite your recollection of great memories from the past.

* Smile, be positive, and notice what’s right. – Everything that happens in life is neither good nor bad. It just depends on your perspective. And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should. Either you succeed or you learn something. So stay positive, appreciate the pleasant outcomes, and learn from the rest.

* Be authentic. Be true to yourself. – Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second rate version of somebody else.” Live by this statement. There is no such thing as living a good day in someone else’s shoes. The only shoes you can occupy are your own. If you aren’t being yourself, you aren’t truly living… you’re merely existing. And no day spent n a phony state of mere existence will ever be memorable or worthwhile.

* Actively assist someone in need. – In life, you get what you put in. When you make a positive impact on someone else’s life, you also make a positive impact on your own life. Do something that’s greater than you, something that helps someone else to be happy or to suffer less. I promise, it will be an extremely rewarding experience. One you’ll likely remember forever.

* Share time with a good friend and experience life together. – Pink Floyd once said, “The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime.” There are few things more satisfying than recounting the greatest moments of your life with your closest friends who lived these moments alongside you.

* Make a new friend. – People are interesting creatures, and no two people are exactly alike. So meet someone new today. Find out what makes them tick. They’ll likely open your eyes to fascinating ideas and perspectives. And you never know, they just might change your life.

* Do something fun and laugh your ass off. – Some of the most memorable moments in your life will be moments spent in laughter.

* Be present. Be here now. – I purposely left this bullet for last because it perfectly encompasses all of my previous points. – Don’t let your life slip by. Instead of dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future, just practice being and living in the ‘now.’ Remember, right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.

Taken from "Marc and Angel Hack Life" blog,
www.marcandangel.com/2009/06/29/how-
to-make-today-memorable/

Sounds like life to me - Daryl Worely

2009-06-29T15:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have to remember that it is life....and not someone or something out to get me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CoFD0bIPuY

I just need to hear this song...sometimes I fight life like its out to get me....

Personality Test

2009-06-21T19:09:00.000-07:00

I took this survey on a website greenfield.com.....a survey website....

IntriguingCongratulations!

You have just participated in our latest promotion which will give you some insight into your personality. The results of the survey are displayed below.

We hope this is enlightening and helpful. Take a look. It's fun!

Best,

The Community Team

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Melissa as a manager
You are very considerate towards your staff, putting their needs before anything else. If one of your staff has a problem then you treat it as your problem and do what you can to help. It doesn’t need to be a work related problem either.

Your team will always know where they stand with you, as you are reliable and dependable.

You make your office a pleasant place in which to work.

Playing to your strengths

Melissa

You are a reliable, safe pair of hands and can be relied upon to get things done. Any job that requires persistence and determination to see the work through to completion would play to your strengths.

Here's what works well for you

You are persistent

Implementation is one of your strengths

Supporting a team to achieve positive outcomes is where you thrive

You can be counted upon to stay with tasks, even those of a routine nature

Colleagues and clients find you approachable

You are always willing to offer a helping hand

Here's what you need to watch out for

Persistency can be a virtue however there does come a time when it's better to let go!

Meeting time deadlines could be a challenge when implementing tasks

Supporting the team is fine, do not be persuaded to tackle more of their work than they do

You are always pleasant and this stops you saying no when sometimes you should

Offering a hand is supportive, make sure others recognise when you are in need

Consultant's advice

Jobs that require a good listener with a sympathetic ear are ideal for you. You will shine in this kind of job and should enjoy promotion.

One of your more unusual abilities is conflict resolution. There are many jobs where being able to take the heat out of a situation is highly valued. You have a talent for this and should promote this to potential employers. It is also something you love to do.

How you react if late for an appointment
Sometimes you find it really difficult to break away from a meeting or whatever it is you are doing, and as a result you become late for appointments.

You really do need to say "No, I don't have another minute", and leave in time for your pre-arranged appointment.

Ability to Actively Listen
Melissa is the very person to lend a sympathetic ear to someone's worries or concerns. She is patient and encouraging and doesn't interrupt until the person has said all they want to say. She not only offers good advice but also a helping hand in that she will actively volunteer to do something that could help the situation.

Melissa does have a challenge in saying no. Her efforts at active listening could be interpreted by the person she has encouraged to say what needs to be said, and to whom she appeared sympathetic, that she is willing to take the problem from them and deal with it personally. She should listen and encourage but make sure that the person whose challenge it is has no doubts that she will be supportive - but they must deal with finding the solution.

Active listening requires that attention be paid to the person making their case. They should be encouraged by nods and requests for points of clarification. Paraphrasing what has just been said to ensure clarification lets the other person know that what they have said has been heard and understood.

Include this in your CV
Melissa is very good at remaining calm, cool, and collected even when completing the most complex tasks.

Intrigued?
Did you find out something interesting about yourself? Was it a surprise? Sometimes we can't spot our personality traits ourselves so why not get your friends to read your report and also test themselves.

With Father's day vastly approaching...

2009-06-19T14:11:00.000-07:00

Facebook has this relative application and it prompted me to write why my father is so great so I wrote the following and I wanted to share.
It told me to tell everyone why my dad is so great....My dad is so great because no matter how little money we had and how much he had to work, he always provided for his family first. He always has and always will love his kids and grand kids unconditionally no matter how much they have/ will hurt him. And face it, I love being around and talking to my dad. I love him so much and the choices he makes on a daily basis scares me because I don't want to be without him, not yet, I am not ready. I love you daddy so much!

Roller Coaster

2009-06-09T19:58:00.000-07:00

I am sure many have felt this way, your emotions are going up and down as if you are on a roller coaster. I am feeling that way right now. I am up and down. At times I am extremely happy or flirty and then a few hours later I feel like I want to cry. I don't always feel this way, just when I am working on something that stresses me out. I am in school and right now I am doubting the degree I am working on because I am not really sure if it is my passion. I am working on an education degree, but I couldn't tell you why I want to be a teacher or if I really even want to be a teacher. I love working with kids, that is my only reasoning behind it. Making a teaching career...I don't know...too much too it for too little pay. I thought I was the type of person that had a passion to help students and that the money doesn't matter, but lately its not been that way. Money is too tight right now and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, school is doing nothing but stressing me out, and all I want to do is cry when I sit down to do homework. I am not sure I can do it, I am not sure what I am passionate about. I am not sure if I can teach, my content knowledge is so shaky. I am forcing myself to finish for the sake of finishing but I am loosing interest in any of it. I need to find what I am good at and what I am passionate about and pursue that.

Sparkpeople most recent blog

2009-06-05T05:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I will keep this up between the two websites. I am on a mission to feel better about myself and get back to a size that I am happy with. I mostly track this on sparkpeople because that is the theme of the site and it is good to keep a running log to keep yourself motivated.
So here is the one I posted today on sparkpeople.com
I had a great time at the sparkteam dinner. It was fun and uplifting for me, they made me feel so good about myself. I was complemented, I think I was even called the trophy for the team lol. The polk county team, at least those that I have meet are wonderful ladies and I wish them all the best. I have only made it to the gym once this week, had a rough day on and off yesturday, going today. I am determined! I need to go today and tomorrow to make my goal. I have a goal of three times a week...I may have to increase it because I usually make it one short of my goal on a weekly basis. Well I am heading to get a snack then gather my clothes (my husband and I can drop off the laundry on the way to the gym and multitask ) :) and then head to the laundry mat and the gym. I am feeling much better about myself, and I am happy to report I have styled my hair for a week straight!! amazing...I hope I can keep it up...my haircut is cute, I just can't get lazy!!

Last two blogs on sparkpeople - wanted to show

2009-05-31T18:32:00.000-07:00

Thursday, May 28, 2009
I have a blog on blogspot (mwilson86.blogspot.com if anyone is interested) and I saw this 25 things I love entry from one of my friends, so I decided to make one for me. Even though I did get through it, it was a tough one for me to fill out. I just couldn't think of 25 things, I think I may of copies some of hers that I agreed with to fill in the empty spots. I just don't know what I love anymore, well besides My heavenly father, my husband, my family ,and my friends (whom I don't really see due to a move), accomplishing a to do list, ect. I just don't understand where that lively, vibrant, happy- go- lucky girl went. Sometimes its hard to drag me out of this house, unless of course its for my responsibilities like school and work. I am good at attending those. If I have to do it, I most likely will but other then that I am sitting here on the computer or watching TV. I don't like to go outside at night, I am just frightened. I just feel like there is always someone there trying to hurt me when I know in my heart that isn't exactly true. I shy away from things that seem fun and relaxing due to fear. I don't like going anywhere by myself. My dependence level has increase since my hubby (at the time, my boyfriend) returned from IRAQ. I never want to be apart from him, and he returned over a year ago. I know it drives him crazy at times...its like I was away from him for a while and I don't want to loose him again. But I will, he will eventually be deployed again I am sure. I just don't have motivation on my own. I don't know how to make life fun again. All I know is work, school, and home. All that I have here that makes me happy is my hubby and a friends that you can count on one hand. I don't even enjoy my friends when I go back home. I guess I just need to keep moving, start searching, and create that happiness in my life.

Sorry its so sad, but I had to get it down...maybe someone has experienced this and knows what I am going through and can help me through it.

Missy

Sunday, May 31, 2009
After my painful realization (read the last blog if you are confused lol) I am working to make myself happy first. I have an issue with doing things for myself, but I am at my happiest when I do. I just commented some of my friends on myspace...tacky...I know, but I miss the days when I actually communicated with them. I haven't been myself in a really long time and I know they noticed. I don't know where it all started I just know I lost myself. I don't have a bad life, just a really busy school schedule and trying to make money working part time and moving out on my own and getting married...its a full plate and I think in the mist of it I lost me. My friends haven't said anything directly but I can see it in the way they respond to me when I am back in Stuart and we do hang out...they don't know who this is. My husband has noticed it and it has hurt him...so I know I had to do something..I didn't feel good about myself, that and stress, has made me run to seclusion.

So I thought long and hard about what made me happy in the past. Pictures, music, nature, working out, my hubby, my friends, my family, spending time on myself...spending money on my hair, making me feel good about myself, working on my spirituality (still bitter sweet). So I took action. I got my hair cut, I am working out, jamming out to music, taking pictures ,again...man I miss the days....and spending good quality time with my precious hubby, and trying to keep in communication with my friends and family.

I miss me and I am sure everyone else does to, but right now I am just feeling this happiness, I can't even explain it. I have homework, housework, and work to do, but I feel innately happy right now....

My lesson (if you didn't quite grasp it in my mumbo jumbo lol) I am Working on myself first. Feeling good about myself gives me the personal happiness I need to carry in my relationships (and bring me out of seclusion) to make them work :)

I am back, and I better stay back!
*~Missy~*

25 Things I love

2009-05-28T06:31:00.000-07:00

25 Things I Love

1. My Lord (even when I am running scared)

2. My sweet, amazing hubby

3. Making it to the gym

4. Accomplishing a to do list

5. Amazing pictures

6. My family (well that is comprised of many more then one slot haha)

7. My friends (dito above)

8. Going out on a date with my hubby

9. Hugs

10. kisses

11. Being organized

12. Any stress free moment

13. Getting a good grade

14. Pizza

15. Being happy

16. being organized and clean.

17. Letting go of things I can't control

18. laughing

19. smiling

20. Cooking a good mean

21. getting dessert (preferably, anything chocolete)

22. being in love.

23. Holding hands

24. Fresh fruit and veggies

25. wintertime

Trying to hop back on the bandwagon

2009-05-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

I am trying to treat myself better. I am very vulnerable to stress and I am working to lower that vulnerability. I started working out and trying to get a good nights sleep. I am aiming to drink 8-10 glasses of water. I will work on decluttering my home and my life. I want to make time for my sweet hubby and my friends. I need a life beyond work and school and quick!! Well that is all I have to say for now.

May 17th, 2009

2009-05-17T16:38:00.000-07:00

FOR TODAY May 17, 2009

Outside my window...I see rain!!

I am thinking...about...homework

I am thankful for....My hubby

From the kitchen...There is nothing going on lol

I am wearing...PJs

I am creating...a powerpoint for school

I am going...to finish these two subjects tonight and scan chapters!

I am reading...Blogs, blogs, and more blogs when I should be doing homework!

I am hoping...to finish what I have to finish
I am hearing...Tony cooking

Around the house...is a bunch of wedding presents lol

One of my favorite things...checking of my to do list which I am not accomplishing at this moment! lol

A few plans for the rest of the week: school and work and homework....T's b-day....maybe getting some sleep!

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

The Flower girls helping "the princess" as they called me :)

Easy Mushroom Soup from Campbells Kitchen

2009-04-30T18:38:00.000-07:00

I made this soup tonight and it was delicious. I got the recipe from Campbells Kitchen www.campbellskitchen.com...I took a picture!! I never take pictures of my food but I was proud of it and my pretty bowls that my DD got me :)
Here is the recipe!!! I replaced the fresh peas with canned ones and the green onions with chives and it came out delicious!! Its a great way to get veggies in your day. :)

Prep Time: 15 min.
Cook Time: 25 min.
Serves: 4.

INGREDIENTS
1 3/4 cups Swanson® 50% Less Sodium Beef Broth
1 3/4 cups Swanson® Natural Goodness™ Chicken Broth
1/8 tsp. ground black pepper
1/8 tsp. dried rosemary leaves, crushed
2 cups sliced fresh mushrooms (about 8 ounces)
1/4 cup finely chopped onion
1/4 cup sliced celery
1/4 cup fresh or frozen peas
1 tbsp. sliced green onion

DIRECTIONS
Heat the broth, black pepper, rosemary, mushrooms, carrots, onion, celery and peas in a 4-quart saucepan over medium heat to a boil. Reduce the heat to low. Cover and cook for 15 minutes.
Add the green onion. Cook for 5 minutes more or until the vegetables are tender.

Dietary Exchanges: 1 Nonstarchy Vegetable

USDA MyPyramid:3/4 cup Vegetables

Nutrition Information
Calories 41, Total Fat 0g, Saturated Fat 0g, Cholesterol 0mg, Sodium 457mg, Total Carbohydrate 6g, Dietary Fiber 2g, Protein 5g, Vitamin A 28%DV, Vitamin C 5%DV, Calcium 1%DV, Iron 3%DV

Happy cooking!!! :P

Another inspirational quote from Sparkpeople!

2009-03-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

March 14, 2009

2009-03-14T20:24:00.000-07:00

FOR TODAY March 14, 2009
Outside my window...I see blinds..lol
I am thinking...about how I need to get to bed.
I am thankful for...the blessing that God is betowing on my life.
From the kitchen...I see our dinning room lol
I am wearing..my work clothes
I am creating...this blog
I am going...to head to bed shortly
I am reading...Rush Hour Cook, weekly wonders and Max Lucado's Bible study on John.
I am hoping...that this sickness will go away!!
Around the house...is starting to get in shape...
One of my favorite things...my sweet hubby :P
A few plans for the rest of the week: house cleaning, work, and school work.
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

My new favorite picture!!!

My Journey

2009-02-21T11:08:00.001-08:00

I am 22 and by no means am I perfect. I struggle everyday with my faith and I am thrown between what is right and wrong. I feel so lost and so confused about spirituality. I have been a Christian since I was five and I silently dedicated my life to the Lord on the bed at my babysitters house. I went to a Christian school from k-8 so that is why I was exposed to such a message when I was five. At the age of 9 I went forward in Church and publicly confessed my sins and was baptised. I grew up in Church and my mom was a christian woman. My dad believed ,but he is so consumed by the things he can't do that he wont come forward in faith or even go to Church for that matter. But he always encouraged my faith and my beliefs. Well I was in a safe haven from k-8 at First Baptist Christian School and then high school came around and I chose to go to a public school where I came to realize I didn't understand what I believed but I believed it because my in my heart I knew it was right. Well issues raised in my quiet little church and I became negative towards it. And at the same time I was in a relationship with someone who would cause me to question everything I believed. But even though I knew what I believed was right , I drifted. All of a sudden true love waits was not the case for me, I gave in and continued to give in, relationship after relationship and with my hubby before he was my hubby. I still feel its a personal choice but now that I am married I have an understanding as to why it is important to wait. I am still unsure how I will present this topic to my kids, but hopefully by that time the Lord will show me. I have regrets and a pass though it wasn't "terrible" it still haunts me to this day. I have to say, proudly, I have never lost faith completely in the Lord, and I have always continued to come to Him when my world seemed to be crashing around me. I know we should not only come to him in times of need ,but I was struggling with how I felt about everything. But at least I knew He was always there. Here I am now, still lost and confused but I have faith in the Lord. I am back to that "baby" stage in my Christianity and I am slowly learning and slowly growing, but I will always struggle with legalism. To drink or not to drink, to have fun and go out dancing with the girls and not to . At least according to my mother I am not living in "sin" anymore by be married as opposed to being engaged and living with my fiance' but this is my life. These are the decisions that I have chosen and whether they are right or wrong in other people's eyes, the only One that matters is my Lord. I read, I believe it was in Philippians. One of Paul's letter that still intrigues me today. To sum it up he said your relationship with the Lord is personal. No one can share or really understand my relationship with the Lord because it is personal. My convictions are what the Lord speaks to me to guide me. Sometimes I feel like Jacob. That no matter how many times I fall of the bandwagon, the Lord loves me and will be there to pick me up and encourage me. I feel I have room for error because if I make a mistake the Lord knows me and how to speak to me and will correct me . So I may still be lost and confused. I may still be intimidated by those who are farther along in their faith then I am, but I know the Lord will show me in time all that I wonder.
I still have many fears that need to be conquered and I still need to learn how to completely give it all to Him, but I am on my way there. I am learning and slowly, I am growing stronger in Him.
so here is where my journey continues...

sweet :P

2009-02-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

Bucket list

2009-02-19T20:04:00.000-08:00

I was tagged for this on facebook and I thought it was pretty cool...if anyone reads this blog lol....I think they should do this too....

Here is my Bucket list :P

The Bucket List. Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not, then send it to your friends (including me).

Things you have done during your lifetime:
( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
( ) Watched someone being born
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida (I live there!!! lol)
( ) Been to Hawaii
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been on a helicopter
(x) Been lost -
(x) Gone to Washington, DC -
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep -
( ) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
( ) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't.
(x) Made prank phone calls
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose & elsewhere
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sunrise with someone
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
( ) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
( ) Lived in more than one country
(x) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(x) Seen a falling star and made a wish
( ) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
() Seen the Statue of Liberty
( ) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
() Been on a cruise
( ) Traveled by train
(x) Traveled by motorcycle
(x) Been horseback riding
( ) Ridden on a San Francisco CABLE CAR
( ) Been to Disneyland
(x) Been to Disney World
(x) Truly believe in the power of prayer
( ) Been in a rain forest
( )Seen whales in the ocean
( ) Been to Niagara Falls
( ) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
( ) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
( ) Been spinnaker flying
(x) Been water-skiing
(x) Been snow-skiing
( ) Been to Westminster Abbey
( ) Been to the Louvre
( ) Swam in the Mediterranean
( ) Been to a Major League Baseball game
(x ) Been to a National Football League game
(x) Been Married
( ) Had Children
(x) Made a significant difference in someone's day
( ) Made a donor card
( ) Read the Bible front to back
( ) ran a long distance race
( ) ran naked with a group
( ) drank from a $1000+ bottle of wine
( ) killed a deer
( )traveled alone in a foreign country
( ) Been to Asia
( ) Been to South America
( ) Been to Europe
( ) Been to Africa
( ) Been to Australia
( ) Shot a fully automatic weapon
( ) Flown a plane
( ) Been to New York City

** Have fun!

I am going to challenge myself.

2009-02-10T19:30:00.000-08:00

I have 5 classes, I work a part time job, I have a wedding in like three months. I am slacking at school, I like my job, and I have planned the wedding in my head but have yet to actually put anything into action. I wanted to loose ten pounds and I have probably gained 5! So here is my challenge. I am going to go to the gym tomorrow and the next day. Walk with a little more umph. I am going to continue to pack my lunch and I am going to limit our going out and eating fast food. Valentines day is probably going to be the exception to that rule, but my goal is to loose weight, save money all while completing school work and working. Here I go.

February 2, 2009

2009-02-01T17:58:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY Februay 2, 2009
Outside my window...I see the street
I am thinking...about these salt and vinegar chips I am eating
I am thankful for....my husband :P
From the kitchen...I see my dining room :P
I am wearing..yoga pants and a knit top
I am creating...memories
I am going...enjoy the super bowl, well kind of lol
I am reading...Life Lessons with Max Lucido - the book of John
I am hoping...this marriage will be all I think it will be :)
Around the house...is a few friends.
One of my favorite things...Salt and Vinegar chips
A few plans for the rest of the week: school work and school...work later on this week
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Tony and his second hero Tony

motivation :P

2009-01-22T16:40:00.000-08:00

Phillipians 1:6
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

For a while now this has been by key verse. This verse has got me through many doubts, fears, stresses, and big decisions. The Lord is constantly reminding me of this verse. Today I read it in a blog...
Thank the Lord for His many blessings in your life thus far!

:P

January 15, 2009

2009-01-15T17:35:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY January 15, 2009
Outside my window...I see blinds..lol
I am thinking...about my stuffy nose :(
I am thankful for....my family
From the kitchen...I see a bunch of junk b/c we just moved!!! lol
I am wearing..kakies and a long sleeve shirt
I am creating...this blog
I am going...to hang out with my hubby and our friends.
I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt
I am hoping...the TV...we actually have cable!!
Around the house...is a mess, we just moved into a new place.
One of my favorite things...my new place :P
A few plans for the rest of the week: working and school work
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

My Coley bug (she was pocahantas for thanksgiving lol) and my mommy :P

January 10, 2009

2009-01-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY January 10, 2009
Outside my window...I see darkness lol...its night time!
I am thinking...about...resolutions and life...
I am thankful for....the blessings the Lord has given me.
From the kitchen...I see a big dirty pile of dishes lol.
I am wearing...PJs ♥
I am creating...resolutions...habits (good ones of course)
I am going...to shower and go to bed...I am sleepy lol
I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt and The Life You Love by John Ortberg
I am hoping...to adapt life-long healthy habits....
I am hearing.. typing and the fridge running
Around the house...is a mess and we need to start packing.....we are moving to a new place soon :P.
One of my favorite things...is well my husband (wow this still has not sank in! lol)
A few plans for the rest of the week: PACKING!!!
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Legally married!!! January 8, 2009!! Wedding day...May 2, 2009
*sigh* wow life goes fast :P *happiness* :)

success

2009-01-10T05:43:00.000-08:00

January 8,2009

2009-01-07T14:48:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY January 8, 2009

Outside my window...I see the dirt road

I am thinking...about...tomorrow

I am thankful for....the blessings the Lord has given me.

From the kitchen...I see a big dirty pile of dishes lol.

I am wearing...my new usf t-shirt :P

I am creating...resolutions...

I am going...to watch this movie

I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt and The Life You Love by John Ortberg I believe ...

I am hoping...to adapt healthy habits....

I am hearing.. me chewing gum

Around the house...is a mess

One of my favorite things...is happiness...whatever that entails

A few plans for the rest of the week: DECLUTTERING and something big (I am not yet sure if I will reveal :P )

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

Crouching tiger hidden Tony :P

January 5, 2009

2009-01-05T14:50:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY January 5, 2009

Outside my window...I can't see lol

I am thinking...about...the new year and my goals

I am thankful for....the blessings the Lord is giving me and for his guidence.

From the kitchen...I hear the fridge lol

I am wearing...clothes

I am creating...my list of resolutions: 1 rule according to spark daily "Adopt habits and routines that you are willing to carry out for the rest of your life!" (http://www.dailyspark.com/blog.asp?post=one_simple_rule_could_lead_to_success)

I am going...to adapt little habits...taking the stairs instead of the escalator....walking hollingsworth at least once a week...taking stairs instead of escalators...parking a safe but further distance when going places......more to come I am sure :P

I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt and The Life You Love by John Orthberg I believe ...

I am hoping...to adapt healthy habits....

I am hearing.. me typing lol

Around the house...lots of stuff that we may be packing soon to move into free housing :P

One of my favorite things...is happiness...whatever that entails

A few plans for the rest of the week: DECLUTTERING and something big (I am not yet sure if I will reveal :P )

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

My gorgeous hubby to be ♥ in California!!!

December 31, 2008

2008-12-31T15:18:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 27,2008

Outside my window...I can't see lol

I am thinking...about...trying to get healthier

I am thankful for....my life

From the kitchen...Tony is cooking lol

I am wearing...a sweater

I am creating...this blog

I am going...to some how enjoy bringing in this new year....

I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt

I am hoping...I get it a better mood (I do not know why I am feeling so eh!)

I am hearing...Tony cooking

Around the house...lots of stuff

One of my favorite things...is money

A few plans for the rest of the week: laundry

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

An oldie but a goodie :P

hotos"/>

Genesis 2:18-25

2008-12-27T08:37:00.000-08:00

18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

19 Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.
But for Adam [h] no suitable helper was found. 21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs [i] and closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib [j] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman, [k] '
for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

We are making a big decision really soon, so I am gearing my Bible Study towards marriage and the meaning of it.

This was my passage for Day 1. When I read this I was still a bit confused on how I should apply this to our lives. My Bible has commentary right under the passage and the ones for this passage said how man and women are partners, not one above the other. The author said that there are two roles meeting one goal. That goal is to follow the Lord. The commentary also spoke about how man and woman are to become one.

The one that really spoke out to me was talking about verse 24, the three things needed in marriage: a man is to leave his parents and join in unity with his wife(in a public ceremony according to this guy...ie. the wedding :P) , they are to love each other above all other mates and work for each others well being, and lastly they are to join together in physical intimacy. The author that wrote this also said that a marriage should have all of the above to be a healthy one.
I am meditating on verses 23-24, because this is something that I find to be vital in our marriage and I want to know that we have it.
My Bible is the new living Bible...I copied the above passages from the Bible gateway online.

I just thought I would share...This passage has really touched me on a personal level and it may touch someone else.
God Bless,

December 27, 2008

2008-12-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 27,2008

Outside my window...is the neighbors house

I am thinking...about marriage

I am thankful for...my fiance', family, and friends

From the kitchen...I want to try out my new gagets ...crock pot :P

I am wearing...Tony's T-shirt

I am creating...this blog

I am going...to work later on today

I am reading...Live Your Life For Half The Price by Mary Hunt

I am hoping...I can get my grade fixed :(

I am hearing...the fridge running

Around the house...is a mess from the trip

One of my favorite things...is the computer lol

A few plans for the rest of the week: Work....and seeing Tony's sister when she comes in.

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

I will be an Army wife soon :P and this is my soldier!

December 16, 2008

2008-12-16T19:58:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 16, 2000...
Outside my window...lights
I am thinking...that I need to get things done.
I am thankful for...being alive
From the kitchen..We need to get dishes done
I am wearing...clothes lol
I am creating..Christmas gifts... :P
I am going...to go to bed shortly
I am reading...for leisure...
I am hoping...my bills can be paid this month :(
I am hearing...the comp Tony is on...
Around the house...lights and more lights :P
One of my favorite things...is Christmas
The rest of the week....is going to be a little busy....
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

my Christmas Tree ♥

Christmas Photos!

2008-12-16T19:29:00.000-08:00

The first tree is Tony's and my own tree....the second is my parents....my tree is the more redneck one...if anyone knows Tony you will understand lol
The pictures are a few Christmas ones and the others are decorating the trees....

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas....
Merry Christmas

Christmas Wish List

2008-12-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

December 8. 2008

Gift cards to Winn Dixie - as much as I can get.....
crock pot
mixer
to be home....

December 8, 2008

2008-12-08T18:22:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 8, 2008...

Outside my window...I see the neighbor's house

I am thinking...that I do not understand as much as I thought I did....

I am thankful for...this semester ending soon!

From the kitchen...I am writing this blog...

I am wearing...atletic pants and a tank top

I am creating...new goals

I am going...take more "me" time to grow stronger physically, spiritually , and mentally...

I am reading...The Life You've always wanted by John Ortberg

I am hoping...my money strings will loosen :/

I am hearing...the videos that Tony is watching on the PC

Around the house...is many memories ♥

One of my favorite things...having fun

A few plans for the rest of the week: finals....

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

I love my dad :P

December 6, 2008

2008-12-06T12:21:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 6, 2008...

Outside my window...I see the neighbor's house

I am thinking...that I am recovering from being sick

I am thankful for...my wonderful fiance'

From the kitchen...I see my wonderful fiance'

I am wearing...An American Eagle Shirt and Sophies

I am creating...this blog

I am going...to get all this laundry and my study guide done by tomorrow night

I am reading...my children's literature study guide

I am hoping...Work is good tonight

I am hearing...the videos that Tony is watching on the PC

Around the house...is a lot of mess which we are trying to get into order.

One of my favorite things...spending time with my family

A few plans for the rest of the week: Procrastination elimination!

Here is picture thought I am sharing...

The view from my backyard :P

My addition:
Procrastination elimination for today....
Laundry
start study guide

Simple woman journal - got the idea from Laura :P

2008-12-05T15:36:00.000-08:00

FOR TODAY December 5, 2000...
Outside my window...my woody back yard :P
I am thinking...that I am really tired of being stuffy :(
I am thankful for...my life....bills being paid...wonderful fiance...and the best family and friends....my job
From the learning rooms...(school) I have tons of school work
From the kitchen..We got a free turkey today from work
I am wearing...my work uniform
I am creating...a new blog era in my life :P
I am going...to a good luck party tonight for one of Tony's friends that is going back to Iraq :(
I am reading...my Bible Study every day.
I am hoping...I feel better soon
I am hearing...Tony telling his stories :P
Around the house...are like 4 different guys visiting
One of my favorite things...my family :P
A few plans for the rest of the week: school work :/
Here is picture thought I am sharing...

I miss my family terribly :(

2008-10-05T01:23:00.001-07:00

I have been a rollar coaster lately

2008-10-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Well I think that we may have found a new owner for Ginger. I am really sad to see her go, the new family should be here tomorrow and we will see how they work with her. I feel like I am letting her down though. She came to us and we took care of her and now we are giving her away, do dogs get attached that quickly, I feel like its going to break her heart when she realizes that we aren't going to keep her. Does that sound silly? I just know we couldn't keep her. I don't want to sound cheap, but our land lord informed us that eventually they are going to get insurrance on the places and that we will have to get rid of her then and plus where we move next year we most likely wouldn't be able to have one, so I didn't want to pay 100 dollars and still have to give her away eventually. we just can't afford that extra hundred just to be thrown out like that. I don't see how that is feasible. It still breaks my heart but we can only see what tomorrow holds to even see if she will go with them. Please keep us and Ginger in your prayers, we really want her to go to a good home.

Dr. MR Obama....wow! (video)

2008-10-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

Dear MR. Obama

The dog who adopted us....

2008-10-03T14:35:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we had a few people over and a dog came up to one of our guests and he pet her and she hasn't left our house since. She looks like she is a pure breed Rottweiler. she has a pink collar but when we first saw her she didn't look like she had been fed in a while. She also looks like it wasn't too long ago that she had puppies. Its seems like maybe someone left her behind when they moved or dropped her off. I have gotten kind of attached to her, we named her Ginger. The problem is we can't keep her no matter what, soon our land lord is going to try and get home owners insurance on the trailer and they won't be able to with a rottweiler living here and we will be moving into married housing on campus as soon as we get married and I doubt we will be able to have her there. She is a sweet dog, I hate to have to let her go, but we are looking for a good home for her. We don't know her history, but she is gaining weight now we have been feeding her like crazy! Well I am attaching some pictures. I am going to miss her :(

random pics stolen from my friends

2007-07-28T05:09:00.000-07:00

Jesse Michael's Visit

2007-07-27T15:50:00.001-07:00

I Feel better now....

2007-07-23T20:01:00.000-07:00

Today I feel much better then yesturday. I didn't come up with a plan, but I do have a sense of comfort. He made it safely to his first stop, and will be there for a few weeks he is thinking before he moves on to his final place. But his year has already started which is music to my ears. I don't know what it is, I had the worse day today, but I feel ok about him being gone, I am glad I heard from him though I wasn't expecting to ( and that for once didn't bother me) but I rather hear from him of course. But I accepted that I may not hear from him everyday, but I have the full faith and trust in the fact that when he can call me he will. I know he misses me as much as I do him, so that comforts me. I believe the prayers from my loved ones are doing the same. I don't want to suffer from anticipatary grief or make a big deal out of nothing, or go to bed crying every night, it will be hard, but I feel he will be fine. I love him with all my heart. Well its bed time for me. I just felt like writing a little bit.

Reality is coming into play

2007-07-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

Well today at 7 pm he is getting on the plane and heading over. This is when reality is going to truly set in. He will no longer be in the states and the true feeling of a National Guardsman's girlfriend will set in. I will be ok, I know I will but just that depression feeling is setting in. I just have to throw myself a pity party, let the emotions come out so I can work through them. I have to do this because that way, how I feel will come out and then I can start building the strength up I just have to get rid of the emotion and start creating a plan. I guess I really don't have to worry too much about it, but I have to sturdy myself, build up my inner foundation then I can help build a more solid foundation with the people around me who are already making themselves open to me. I have to start with myself though. It's just one of those bubble bath and book day as I call it. I just take some me time, take a nice bubble bath and read into the situation, maybe read a good book to kind of get myself in the thinking mood. Then I just write, write how I feel, get it all out. Write down a plan, so to speak. Something I can build on. I know I am a planaholic but it helps. Tony leaving isn't the only reason I feel this way. Nicole, my niece is in the hospital with ammonia so that does not help at the moment. She is my life, my lil boost in mood, I worry about her you know. I know she will be fine, its a mild case, but still. I don't know. Well I better go...

Its a wonderful feeling

2007-07-21T19:49:00.000-07:00

Tony is away at the moment, but I feel our bond just as strong. He lets me know how he feels and he isn't afraid to ease my concerns and walk along my side though my emotions are up and down. Whenever I have a concern and I bring it up to him, he seems to have a way of letting me know it will be ok. He seems a bit short with me when it comes to telephone calls, probably because he is busy or whatever, but when I truely confront him about something, even if in e-mail he does listen. I think sometimes, it would be easier if he were to allow me to vent on the phone, at some time, and he does, but its not the majority of what he wants to talk about. But that is ok, I am sure he has his own reasons. Sunday, tommarow, starts his tracking over there. Then the year count down is in motion. Its going to be an adventure, its new to me, but I think its an oppurtunity for him to follow his dream and me to concentrate on mine. I am going to miss him like crazy but coming fall, time should feel like its flying right by. So I know we will be fine.
The wonderful feeling I talk about is the feeling of love that I have with him. I can feel how he feels for me and by the way he talks he can feel mine. We have a special bond . I love it. Just to know that someone loves you as much as he loves me is just a wonderful feeling. I can't help but smile.
While he is gone, my life has to go on and I know that. I do want to invest in a video recorder and some care package things so I can send him little figments of home. He may not seem to understand my enthusiasm now, but when he gets there, I think he will appreciate it more then he already does. I don't know, I desire to be needed and appreciated and I want more then anything to do what I can to help him while he is there. I can't physically show my love to him now, and not that I need to, he already knows, but I want to show him in other ways. I am actually a bit excited to be able to send him things. It makes me feel happy to do that, I want to, you know send cute little notes in the packages. Just things to put a smile on his face and happiness in his spirit, that he may loose at times where he is going. Like a rose in the middle of the desert, that lil bit of hope, I want him to have that all the way. I hope I don't get to out of hand with it, but I want to do all I can, I just hope it doesn't drive him crazy. We wil see how it goes. I will still pray for him each and every day, pray for his safety and well being, pray for blessings to be brought upon him. Just pray.

Recent Pictures

2007-07-21T07:14:00.000-07:00