Monday, July 23, 2007
I Feel better now....
Today I feel much better then yesturday. I didn't come up with a plan, but I do have a sense of comfort. He made it safely to his first stop, and will be there for a few weeks he is thinking before he moves on to his final place. But his year has already started which is music to my ears. I don't know what it is, I had the worse day today, but I feel ok about him being gone, I am glad I heard from him though I wasn't expecting to ( and that for once didn't bother me) but I rather hear from him of course. But I accepted that I may not hear from him everyday, but I have the full faith and trust in the fact that when he can call me he will. I know he misses me as much as I do him, so that comforts me. I believe the prayers from my loved ones are doing the same. I don't want to suffer from anticipatary grief or make a big deal out of nothing, or go to bed crying every night, it will be hard, but I feel he will be fine. I love him with all my heart. Well its bed time for me. I just felt like writing a little bit.
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About Me
- mwilson86
- I am 23 and Married to the love of my life. I am an Army wife. I am going to school to become and Elementary Education teacher. I have a whole life of trials ahead of me but with God's love I will get through.
4 comments:
Tony'll be OK. If you should be worried about anything, it should be him dying of boredom moreso than anything else. As hardcore as he may be, no matter how hard he tries, he's still National Guard, which puts him squarely in the middle of nothing. If he's attached to an Active Duty unit, and he was deployed as an Infantryman, they'll make him a TOCroach listening to radios or pulling tower guard shifts or something else like that. Yeah, he's going to hate it...but active units are huge dysfunctional families that are strongly opposed to any outsiders, so they'll use thier NG attachments to fill up the slots that they don't want to do.
In the very unlikely event that the unit Tony's attached to decides to actually put him on a regular patrol schedule, once again, because he's NG, they won't put him in any position where he'll actually have to do active duty jobs. I'd bet a month's pay that the closest he gets is convoy security or route clearance, the jobs they gave us as a vacation of sorts.
National Guard, despite how much anyone else will argue any other way, are still guys who play army once a year. Active duty guys don't trust them because of this, and when you add the fact that he didn't do the deployment train-up year with them, they'll treat him just like a civilian...walking him by the hand everywhere he goes, and never trusting thier back to him.
It's nothing personal...they might even really like Tony and think he's pretty hardcore, but that doesn't change the fact that he's a weekend warrior.
On the bright side: that bald sumbitch is gonna have 24/7 access to some pretty damn good gyms. And he's going to be making about $30k...tax-free. He also doesn't have to listen to how screwed-up the dillweeds in Washington are.
Well he wants to be there, I hope he gets a bit more excitement then that.....But I just want him ok. Its just hard for me, but I am doing better then expected. Thank you for the information.
You really don't want to wish any excitement upon him. Albeit, my first mortar attack was pretty exciting, since I was still under the impression that if I didn't fire my weapon once, it would be a good deployment. A year and a half and countless rounds later, I was wondering just why, exactly, mortars scared me...I was more spooked by lightning hitting me than a mortar (FOB Courage had over 2000 mortars land in the 8 months we were there, FOB Marez had about 500 in 4 months, and Camp Taji was in the tens of thousands in the 4 months we were there).
Don't take this personally, but the weakest link in the chain between you and Tony is statistically going to be you. He's going to return under the same mindset he left in...you're going to change, that's inevitable. It's a TON of work on your behalf, but it really answers the question of whether or not you truly think you two were meant to be together.
We had an 80% divorce rate 2 weeks after when we got back. We were in a country that we couldn't cheat on our significant others...you do the math on what ended all those marriages.
If you're really serious about it, though, the best thing you can possibly do for him is write him snail-mail as often as fuggin possible. Don't expect him to write back...he most likely won't. But in all honesty, when mail-call comes around, and you actually have something to look forward to, there's nothing on this planet that'll keep you from getting your goddamn mail. It doesn't matter what you write about...just write about your day...be concieted...it doesn't matter. He wants to know how YOU'RE doing more than you do of him. Trust me on this.
Well we will be fine, if I am the weakest link then we will be just fine.I cherish him more then anything and nothing will keep me part from him. Its hard, I know, I have and will have doubts, but I know in my heart where I belong and we will be just fine, between you and my family, it makes me so mad the discouragement I am getting. Doesn't loving someone count for anything? I have the desire to be here, wait for him and keep my legs close and my hands and lips to myself, and be true to him through and through. This is what he wants, I am supporting him. I have my own life to attend too, the only difference in me when he gets back is i will hopefully be moved out living on my own two feet. So I may be a little more dependent, and little more responsible, but I will still be me and I will still love him. Maybe a little awkward at first, we will have to get to know each other all over again, I expect it to be odd, I expect to have doubts, and I want to work through that. I will work through, that. Thanks for the advice though but please keep the negativity out of it,I have my own negative vibe, I don't need anyone adding to it. I will express myself and write,but my emotions are always different from one entry to another. Thanks .....and I will be sending plenty throught he snail mail. I know it means alot, like I said thanks for your advice, I don't mean to sound snappy, but I have heard it all before, I am constantly seeking sources, I know what they say and hearing it from some one that has been there does conform the truth in the matter and that is helpful...Thank you...
Missy
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