Its a wonderful feeling

Tony is away at the moment, but I feel our bond just as strong. He lets me know how he feels and he isn't afraid to ease my concerns and walk along my side though my emotions are up and down. Whenever I have a concern and I bring it up to him, he seems to have a way of letting me know it will be ok. He seems a bit short with me when it comes to telephone calls, probably because he is busy or whatever, but when I truely confront him about something, even if in e-mail he does listen. I think sometimes, it would be easier if he were to allow me to vent on the phone, at some time, and he does, but its not the majority of what he wants to talk about. But that is ok, I am sure he has his own reasons. Sunday, tommarow, starts his tracking over there. Then the year count down is in motion. Its going to be an adventure, its new to me, but I think its an oppurtunity for him to follow his dream and me to concentrate on mine. I am going to miss him like crazy but coming fall, time should feel like its flying right by. So I know we will be fine.
The wonderful feeling I talk about is the feeling of love that I have with him. I can feel how he feels for me and by the way he talks he can feel mine. We have a special bond . I love it. Just to know that someone loves you as much as he loves me is just a wonderful feeling. I can't help but smile.
While he is gone, my life has to go on and I know that. I do want to invest in a video recorder and some care package things so I can send him little figments of home. He may not seem to understand my enthusiasm now, but when he gets there, I think he will appreciate it more then he already does. I don't know, I desire to be needed and appreciated and I want more then anything to do what I can to help him while he is there. I can't physically show my love to him now, and not that I need to, he already knows, but I want to show him in other ways. I am actually a bit excited to be able to send him things. It makes me feel happy to do that, I want to, you know send cute little notes in the packages. Just things to put a smile on his face and happiness in his spirit, that he may loose at times where he is going. Like a rose in the middle of the desert, that lil bit of hope, I want him to have that all the way. I hope I don't get to out of hand with it, but I want to do all I can, I just hope it doesn't drive him crazy. We wil see how it goes. I will still pray for him each and every day, pray for his safety and well being, pray for blessings to be brought upon him. Just pray.